This essay is by my brother, Sam.
In 2009, I had a life-changing encounter with a man named Dan; he was the top salesman at our company and left an indelible mark on my career. Dan was an impressive figure, standing at six feet four with a heroic build, fierce red hair, and striking green eyes. He possessed an air of confidence, always dressed impeccably, never seen with a loosened tie, even during late nights working on proposals. His crisp, white shirt occasionally had its sleeves rolled up, but he always exuded professionalism and ownership. People naturally gravitated towards him, stepping aside to listen to his words. Dan treated everyone with a warm smile and friendliness, be it the company president or the person serving us lunch at Subway. His positive attitude was unparalleled. Whenever asked how he was doing, his unwavering response was, “I have never been better”—and he genuinely meant it.
Then, one day, Dan received devastating news about one of his children, who passed away. He took some time off from work, but, upon his return, he walked into the building with his laptop in hand, his tie tightly knotted, and a radiant smile on his face. As we were close colleagues, I felt concerned and decided to visit his office that morning, closing the door behind me.
“How are you really doing?” I asked sincerely. “Is there anything I can do for you? I mean it, anything, just ask.”
With a grin, Dan replied, “You know, I’ve never been better,” tossing his empty Starbucks cup into a trash can across the room. I stood there in silence, processing his words.
“How?” I finally managed to ask. “How can you maintain such a positive outlook? How can you genuinely claim that you’ve never been better?”
Dan leaned in and spoke softly, capturing my full attention. “Listen carefully,” he began. “You don’t truly know anything about me or my life. You only think you do. Here’s something you must remember, and I won’t mention it again. Your attitude sucks. Frankly, I’m surprised they tolerate it here. Your attitude defines everything. It shapes your life. You think things are bad? Let me tell you, buddy, they could be a lot worse. A lot worse. You’re standing there, upset because a meeting didn’t go your way, dressed in your shirt and cheap tie. Well, go out and start digging sewers and tell me how much that meeting mattered today. And maybe, after digging sewers, you’ll get laid off and find yourself living in one, eating from a dumpster. You don’t know anything. So, listen up. When someone asks how you’re doing, there’s only one answer: ‘I’ve never been better.’ And you live your life as if it’s true because here’s the stone-cold truth — no matter how bad you think things are right now, they can always be worse. So, wake up and change your attitude. Right fucking now.”
With that, he leaned back in his chair, his smile returning as if nothing had happened. I stood there in stunned silence, my shirt drenched in sweat.
“I need more coffee,” Dan happily announced. “Care to join me? It’s on me. Sales always buys the damn coffee!”
We went to Starbucks in his new Mercedes, and while everything seemed unchanged for him, everything had changed for me. I realized I couldn’t fulfill Dan’s request within that job: so I mustered the courage to quit, eventually finding a position at another company. It was a terrifying move, as I had spent my entire professional career at the previous company.
As I was walking into the new office, the receptionist greeted me with a smile and asked how I was doing.
“I’ve never been better,” I replied, sporting a wide grin.
“Well, that’s a fantastic attitude,” she beamed. “You’ll fit right in here if you can maintain that!”
And so it went. I became the most cheerful and upbeat person in the company. Though I became the subject of jokes, I also became a beacon of hope for those feeling downtrodden. Unbeknownst to me, I’d joined a company on the verge of collapse, but, as things worsened, my attitude gained more attention. I rapidly climbed the ranks, despite lacking expertise in the company’s technology. Layoffs hit, one after another, but I survived each round despite being the most junior member. Perplexed, I asked my boss how this was possible.
“Well,” he explained, “During meetings to discuss layoffs, your name consistently comes up. You’re inexperienced and new to the company, making you the logical choice. However, each time, everyone decides you should stay. Your attitude is so positive that everyone wants you here. The president even said he’d prefer one average employee with a great attitude over five brilliant but gloomy experts. Attitude sells. So, you don’t have to worry. You’ll still be here long after I’m gone, until they turn off the lights, if you want to be.”
And so it unfolded. As things deteriorated, my promotions accelerated. Within 18 months, I became the senior member of the sales team. I became the face of the company’s improbable turnaround. And when things reached their breaking point (the turnaround effort was not enough), a friend offered me a job, and that very day, I walked out.
From my experience with Dan and the job after Dan, I developed a list of three priorities necessary for success in the workplace. Having spent considerable time in the business world, let me share these priorities:
- Firstly, your boss. Your number one priority is to make your boss look good. This is not a joke.
- Secondly, your company. Your top priority is to increase revenue. Following closely is improving profitability. These two priorities should guide your thoughts and actions.
- Finally, yourself. Your primary priority is to maintain an unwaveringly positive attitude, self-confidence, and the appearance of success.
The third item is crucial for your career and life. No amount of education or expertise surpasses its significance in most circumstances. An employee with average skills and a positive attitude holds greater value than five brilliant but unpleasant individuals. As pilots say, “your attitude determines your altitude.” Maintaining a positive attitude at all costs ensures your success, as surely as day follows night. Failure is not an option.
Since then, I’ve strived to adhere to these priorities. Where I succeeded, they brought me great achievements. Where I faltered, they resulted in failure and misery. Attitude stands as the foremost determinant of success in life. You must consistently exhibit a positive attitude, no matter the circumstances. Because it’s true—no matter how dire things may seem, they can always be worse. Your attitude will dictate how you navigate through it all.
If I could impart one thing to anyone, regardless of their stage in life, it would be to always display a positive attitude. It holds immeasurable power in the universe.
The Story's Story 
Attitude will take you a long way – performance will cross the finish line, be it sales or productivity in your position.
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Hi, long time reader of your blog, because your collections of the links are very valuable. This is my first comment. While the essay has some good points to remember, by far, the majority of modern lives of people that I know, was hurt by the great positive attitude than without it.
I have a background in the mechanic and electricity, all the positive attitude in the world, would not keep you alive if you kill yourself to make your boss look good. Fake-it-until-you make-it can get you killed. Electricity is dumb, robotics are dumb, machines are dumb, they do not have attitudes. Honesty is the primary attitude to have.
With a great leader that I have, he straight-up tell the team, that the tasks that we are doing, “I rather watch my own parents dying before my eyes than doing the tasks that we are about to do now. (He once done that for 14 days in a row). This is an uphill battle. We are going to win and we are going to be miserable doing it. You are going to learn a lot from it. One day, we will win.” I learned a lot from this man on how to be a good technician and a teamplayer.
With incompetent bosses, all they do is smile and talk empty positive clichés. But they solved no problem, and they blame other people behind their backs. Good people either left or find their ways out. This is one of the reasons why we have a shortage of tradesmen. Not that fewer people want to do it, but faking stupidity is seriously hard.
People knew the values of making your bosses look good. Many people cannot do it, because the intellect of your bosses is outside their control. I’ve seen as*-lickers that make their boss look good, while making it worse for the company and the people who do actual works to keep it running. It made them look worse. Great communicators are those who can find ways to make your bosses do not feel like an idiot if they are idiots.
The values of a good salesperson had crept up in all professions. To be a tradesman, a tech professional, a specialist in any field, you have to bs your ways through job interviews. I.e. Saying that you have 10 years of experience on a coding language that just released a year ago, just to pass one round of recruiters. To make a living, we became actors. That’s one of the greatest appeal of Trump, people loved the honest attitude he was presenting over the carefully curated attitude of many other qualified candidates. Because they have to endure this false positivity in their real, working lives.
“The president even said he’d prefer one average employee with a great attitude over five brilliant but gloomy experts. ”
While I understand that, he was looking for actors. Not everyone can cut out to be one. I, myself, are struggling for years, to learn this skill without being sick in my stomach. A good youtube video released 9 years ago is this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg . Check the comments, this is happening in every industry, because we have to become salesmen and maintain a positive attitude.
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I broadly agree with Anon- some of my worst professional years were having to maintain the illusion that one of my teammates was competent, to the point that we couldn’t talk openly in planning about the rework we were going to have to do. The management didn’t want to hear negativity, he obviously didn’t, and even one of the team could not handle that we were treating him as a problem.
He was fired a few years later, after being the only person on the team assigned to a solo project and failing to make any progress. Others have been laid off in that period, at least one of them could have been saved.
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I don’ t intend to negate or criticize Sam’ s essay. Positive attitude can be incredibly helpful to the work environment. I understand that it is a virtue to have, especially as a salesperson. Having a positive work environment, is probably the most effective cause of success.
However, unlike whatever some leaderships or management gurus think, the best way to create positivity is to have positive results.
I was like your teammate, I knew that I was incompetent in many areas, but I maintained optimism that I can learn and improve. If people did not tell me what I need to improve, out of fear of hurting my feelings or being unwilling to be seen in a negative light, I would not know where or how to improve. Thankfully, I found good people willing to do that, and my improvement create positive results, which in turn create more positivity.
It is harder to be given honest advice in white-collar experience, when everyone understood the drawbacks of expressing negative statements, or they do not know how to give one, or never been given one.
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Hello – Sam here. The story is mainly a parable to encourage people to approach life with a positive attitude. Of course, it’s impossible to always be positive. Most of the time when I say those words — “I have never been better” — I don’t truly mean it.
That also helps me know when it’s time to move on. Move on from whatever it is that’s bringing me down: a job, a relationship, a friendship, a dispute.
I spent much of my life being miserable for one reason or another. I would like my second half to be a positive experience for both myself and the people I choose to be around.
With regards to the work stuff — I also broadly agree. Many modern work environments are truly awful places to be. I believe that picking who you decide to work for is going to ultimately have a major influence on your ability to stay positive. I work behind a desk and don’t deal with machinery that can potentially kill me, so your point about bluntness and honesty is well-taken.
It sounds like you don’t enjoy your line of work much, and I can commiserate with that. I work primarily because I enjoy food and shelter. Unfortunately, most people suffer similar plights like us.
With that said, in response to the person below regarding a bad colleague. This happens far too often in the workplace. I’ve seen it a million times. The fault was not yours for suffering through this; you worked for a company that failed to take ownership over a failing employee. A healthy organization will have reasonable performance metrics, 360 reviews, and a way for colleagues to pass constructive feedback to management.
I have worked at firms that encourage toxic positivity, which is not the point of this essay. The conclusion is intended to be closer to what Viktor Frankl said in his seminal book about surviving the Holocaust: the last of the human freedoms is the ability to choose your attitude in a given set of circumstances. I’m paraphrasing, but I believe that’s close to the quote.
Work problems are ultimately not as serious as things like the person in the story had to deal with. When facing mortality or the death of a loved one, these battles at work start to feel insignificant. I have left many jobs due to the incompetence of colleagues, and I’m fortunate that I’ve been lucky enough to now be in a place where I can practice what a preach at the executive level.
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To be clear, I have little disagreement with your essay. I simply point out the disasters when the expectation of management is positivity all the time even when it is not advisable. From time immemorial, subordinates complain about their superiors and bosses complain about workers. My point is people are different, and when management expects mono-behavior, it led to negativity.
There are memes about how tech enthusiasts are different from tech professional. Tech enthusiasts theorize non-stop about how great new technology will be, while tech professionals constantly criticizing the direction that the world heading to the point of schizophrenia. (ChatApi, is one of the few things where I’ve seen the reverse, it is amazing for me, and I do like seeing tech preachers losing their sh*t). In any company, they need them both. One to remind how great technology is, and another to see what the problems are. But in today professional culture, it is hard to see appreciation for the latter, and this led to more dislike for the former.
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On one hand this can be read as depressing – one should not act the way the feel in order to please the corporate machine and maximalize its revenue.
On the other hand, I have not really considered this before. I act pretty genuinely because I don’t define myself by work and have no need to impress people there.
Reading this makes me wonder if that is not more effort though. Since I don’t consider work my life and I don’t consider my colleagues friends (despite respectng them and being friendly with them), maybe it would be easier to also put on a “work facade”, the same way I have an office at home I open in the morning and close around 4pm
I could separate myself more easily not just physically, but also mentally and it could even have more unfroseen benefits as described in the essay.
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