An actual text message conversation:

Me: “He is the Balrog and you are Gandalf. You can only feel as bad as you let him make you feel.”

Heather: “Does that mean I can approach him wielding a giant staff?”

Me: “And gland ring.” [Pause.] “Glamdring! Stupid auto correct.”

H: “Gland ring? That sounds like something from a sex shop ha ha.”

Me: “Elves forge swords and dwell simultaneously on both sides, they don’t run sex shops, which is a purely Bywater pastime.”

(Link added for the purposes of this post.)

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